I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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