im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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