His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
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