Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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