Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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