girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize