He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
