i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
