I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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