I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
