Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
