Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
