Me too!
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
