I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
