oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
