...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
My balls are so social today.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
