now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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