Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
