So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
