and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
