I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
