After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
