haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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