So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
operation have a gay friend backfired
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
