my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
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