She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I'm like, not good at living.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
