i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
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