Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
