I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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