Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
