All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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