my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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