____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
