im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
