I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
