thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
