Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize