guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I met the friendliest cop last night
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
