Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
