I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Randomize
