I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
