There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
