wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
