Three words: puerto rican gang bang
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
In other news, I just burned my penis
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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