we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
She's not a foreskin expert like you
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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