wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
