I need help removing her.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
