i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
