is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
