I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
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